It's been a busy weekend. Our daughter had a volleyball tournament on Saturday and then both kids had sleepovers at friends' houses. Ken and I took advantage of the time and went out on the town. We danced a lot and saw some old friends. It was fun, but I'm certianly paying for it today. I think we would have been better off staying home for a romantic evening in . . . I certainly would have been better off. Oh well. We never go out, so it's good that we found some time to do that.
Beth at http://itsnotcancerbut.blogspot.com/ just posted that she's having her mastectomy next week. Wow. Her post made me realize I'm having mine this month. I'm scheduled for November 23. How can it seem so close and yet so far away at the same time? I'm REALLY not looking forward to this in any way. I know I should look at it as a way to get rid of this terrible, threatening cancer in me . . . but I keep focusing that it will be the day I lose something dear to me, something that is so much a part of me . . . . it just seems impossible that it will really happen. Yet it will.
In general, I'm doing pretty well. I get sad sometimes, of course. I wonder if that ever will go away. I suppose it will, but it might take a long time. The reconstruction process takes about a year, so I'll be reminded all the time by numerous doctor visits. And of course I'll be reminded first by pain and then later by a foreign feeling on my chest. I suppose someday I'll get used to that too. It's just something I have to deal with and it will seem normal to me as I take each step at a time.
I'm wishing Beth well and sending coping and healing vibes to her. Let me know how you're doing, Beth. I'm pulling for you, as are your family and friends.
As always, thanks for sharing your thoughts Kelly. As a reader, I feel the struggles you are going through in my own way....the contrasts between enjoying time with Ken and your children, then talking about your surgery and your thoughts brings home your struggles and the ups and downs of these days. I am also touched by your compassion toward Beth, but not surprised....I know how often you and Ken reach out to others. As usual, an inspirational and moving blog visit. Thank you.
ReplyDelete