Many blessings today

Valerie did an amazing thing today.  She took care of an issue with an unfair grade and got it changed.  We are so impressed with her!  One day this quarter, she rolled an ankle in gym class and Ken had to take her out of school and to the doctor.  On that day, she missed math class and a math assignment.  When grade cards were calculated, she got a late grade for that assignment and it took her from a 97% to an 88% for the quarter, knocking her out of the "A" honor roll.  Ken and I were upset about it, as was Val.  She heard Ken talking about sending an email to the teacher because it was just the right thing to do.  So she took care of it by talking with the teacher.  Ken didn't tell her to do it.  Neither did I.  She just did.  She also got some work done that has been stressing her.  So when she called me after school she was almost giddy with happiness and said that she got two major "bricks" off her shoulders today.  We went out to Max and Ermas to celebrate tonight.

Today I also experienced two eye-opening things.  Driving back to work after my appt with the psychologist, I heard a terrible sound and looked in my rear view mirror.  Less than a quarter mile behind me, I watched a car flip to it's top.  Several other cars and trucks pulled over and I saw two men in a truck jump out to offer assistance to the person/people in the car.  I really hope they are okay.  The second event took place at Max and Erma's tonight.  Ken is always talking with someone I don't know, usually a dad of a child he coached for soccer or baseball.  Tonight someone came to talk with him and when he left the table, he headed back to his table where his wife and 3 kids under the age of 8 were sitting.  Ken told me that is the man who played on his church softball team, the one who was diagnoised with an inoperable brain tumor this summer. 

My appointment with the psychologist went well.  I'll probably need longer than half a day to see if it has an impact, but it was good to talk about it with someone who has dealt with many people in this situation.  She challenged me a bit and helped me see some of what was going on with me. 

I have made a surgery decision on the outside, but have not accepted it on the inside yet.  And I'm grieving.  There may be more issues too, but that's a big part of it. 

I'm going to try to schedule another meeting with her next week.  She and I agree that it would be good to establish our relationship now in case I need her after the surgery.  We both expect the post-surgery emotional response to be an issue since I'm not dealing well with the pro-active (called prophylactic) part of this surgery.  As far as we know, one breast is healthy.  And I have a suspicion the other breast may present very little, if any cancer, given that the MRI and mammogram can't pick it up.  Something tells me they got most of it out with the biopsy.

As for the decision, I know the bilateral mastectomy is the only real option for me.  Any other choice will be gambling with the odds.  And I need to do whatever I can to try to stop it from moving into the rest of my body.

So I've made the decision, I just haven't accepted it yet.  If that is still true in two weeks, the post-surgery emotions will be tough.  Hey, at least it's a step to admit it here.

I also had a good talk with my boss today.  I have a lot I'd like to get done at work in the next two weeks (which she pointed out is really only 7 days due to days off).  Yikes!  But I'm feeling like I can be ultra productive right now and it makes such a difference to be surrounded by the support of my boss and colleagues.