Good day

Great day today. I didn't get a chance to run, but I walked a lot.  It was gorgous outside and I was really glad I wore my trail running shoes today as I walked across campus to the doctor's office and back.  So nice to take that time.  Also, I seem to be doing better about accepting my treatment decision and internalizing that it is primarily proactive.  I'm talking much better about it, certainly.  I cry much less too.

I met with the cancer pychologist and we had a great talk today.  Talked about realizations since last week, the benefits of yoga, and body image.  She challenged me to breathe better. I seem to hold my breath a lot right now - it's a stress reaction that does not help the stress at all.  She also challenged me to live only in th present, not the future and to walk a lot after surgery.  Of course, I can't do walk the first day, but when I can physically do it, she believes it will help me to get out and walk.

Later in the afternoon I met with my ob/gyn for the first time in this ordeal.  He is so great.  He came right in and started talking with me about what has gone on this whole 6 weeks and was very supportive and caring.  He was my doctor through both pregnancies (so about 12 years now) and has been my favorite doctor of any kind.  I didn't tell him how I struggled with my treatment decision but he seemed to understand at the same time as making it obvious he didn't think any other choice but the bilateral mastectomy made sense.  He also talked very passionately about all the garbage in the news right now about how women under 50 shouldn't get mammograms.  He is livid about that and talked about how those "ivory tower" people just wrote me off.  So true. 

The evening I spent with some very good girlfriends who I don't see often enough.  We talked about everything - work, life balance, exercise, health, breast cancer, leadership, dogs, movies, broadway shows, etc.  It was wonderful of Anne to set up this meeting for us before I'm out on leave.  Thank you, all!