Friday and counting

My last day at work was today and that was such a weird feeling.  I know it's not my last day at work ever, but it felt so strange and final. The next time I go back into the office will be post-surgery.  It will probably be 2010, too.  Crazy.  Luckily I was able to get everything done that was pressing and I passed several important things on to capable hands.  Now I have no monkeys on my back as I go in to this surgery.  That's a very good feeling.

Today I was blessed with many well-wishers and got cards, more books and movies, and felt very good all day.  I also left early so I could run up to Hope's Boutique to purchase a post-surgery bra with front zipper closure and velcro straps.  Right now, it seems like a really nice and soft one, but I have a feeling I'll absolutely hate it by this time next week.  One very cool thing is that the store (which is part of the James Hospital, or affilated somehow) charged the $65 bra to my insurance.  I wasn't expecting that perk at all.  I know I'll pay for it eventually or I already have in premiums, but it's still very nice to not have to shell out the money for it right now.  I'm so glad I took the time to get up there to get it.

It was good to connect with David and Becky tonight.  We went out for dinner and talked a lot about my cancer situation, her mother who recently past away, health care in general, their really cool agility dogs, my kids, and running.  Becky did the Komen tri this year (the one my dentist was challenging me to do yesterday) and the same half marathon as I did in October 2008.  Becky is giving me a little more slack than my dentist and is offering 2011 for dragging me along to do the Komen tri. She's a tough cookie, that's for sure.

My parents flight arrives tomorrow and the kids and Ken will go to Dayton for my nephew's birthday party.  The time is just flying by now.  I've got just 2 more days before my body changes significantly.  It's weird to feel 100% fine right now and to know I'll be incredibly sick and in pain in just a few days.  And I'm doing this why?!?!?   I know, I know.  I'm doing this for life . . . .  to greatly increase my chance of being there for my kids as they grow up . . . . for being able to grow old with my husband.

Lee Ann was very supportive tonight too.  I talked with her on my way home from David and Becky's house.  She encourged me and told me it was okay however I responded to this challenge.  She said that it would be okay if I wanted to be in a funk for three days or for nine months.  We also talked about the tough time I had during my child bearing years.  She said I was older and wiser and this time I was prepared for a similar response in myself and that makes this time different.  I'll know that I can get out of it when I'm ready.  I can see her points and am swayed by her arguments.  I also very much appreciate her support.

It's late on Friday night, actually it's Saturday morning.  Time is really flying by so quickly at this point.  I'm still scared but doing much better and am sure of my decision.  I'm so glad I wasn't born during a time that would put me in my 40s when the breast cancer screening didn't start until age 50!  I'd be in a totally different situation if it didn't get caught for another 7 years.  My prognosis would not be good.  I'd be one of those the bean counters would just write off as a casuality because less screening is better for the greater good even if it takes my life.  I'm still just reeling from that concept.  Get your mammograms.  Don't listen to the bean counters!