Girlfriends

Had a wonderful night last night with some women friends.  We had wine and beer and snacks and just sat around the living room talking.  I got home at about 9:30, I think, so 3 or 4 hours of respite.

When they asked how I was doing, I told them I was annoyed with my breasts now.

I'm annoyed they are in the way all the time: I can't squish myself down between the van and the recycle can to pick up missed shots.  I can't sleep too long on either side and it's generally uncomfortable in bed.  I bump them on tables and doors and things and am annoyed about the bump and even more annoyed that I can't feel the bump. 

I'm annoyed they are too big for my clothes to look good:  I wear a lot of jackets and shirts as jackets to make them seem smaller. The women last night said they don't seem big too them - one of the women said they were probably smaller than hers and she could relate to me being concerned about the size.  I know they will be at least 20% smaller when we're done.  I just wish we were done now.  We go to Florida next week and I'm already finding that spring clothes are worse than winter.  I'm sure my summer clothes will be worse than spring clothes for fit and such.  Anne told me to just suck it up and buy something now.  I know she's right.  But with just 2 months to go, it seems like such a waste.  And I won't like whatever I buy anyway.  It's not the clothes that annoy me, after all.

I'm annoyed they are hard and unmoving:  I'm starting to feel like a mannequin. I saw a naked mannequin in the store the other day and actually related to her.  That's not good.

As I was complaining about all these things, they all agreed that "annoyed" is great.  How great to be annoyed by brick breasts instead of despondent, sick, in pain, depressed, etc. They made me feel pretty good about how I've gotten through all this mentally. It hasn't been a piece of cake and I get down on myself sometimes even now, but not any more than I did before all this happened. I've moved on with it and am in a pretty good place mentally - and physically, really. One of them even said that my words were complaining but my attitude and such didn't really match the words. I was okay with being annoyed. I was being flip about it.  She's right.  I'm doing fine and I'm grateful for that.

On the way home from the great evening out, I called Lee Ann in Nebraska and we had a talk, too.  She's a single mom in a human services field (read: she helps others all the time) and she's on her last class of her Masters (public policy). She graduates in May. Amazing. I don't know how she does it. She's a superwoman! I really, really, really want to be there for her graduation, but I've got an important retreat at work that I don't think I can miss. Why can't those inventors figure out that two-places-at-once technology, or at least the beaming us where we need to be to avoid the travel time?

Michelle joined our Race for the Cure team. Thanks, Michelle! Any other takers? See my previous post to learn how to join us.

Good times.  Good friends.  Life is good.